Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
