I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
