so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
