I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
