he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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