Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
