There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
