im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
