the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
