No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The air was thick with penises
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
