My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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