i was rollin on her like bob the builder
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
