if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
