Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
