some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
