I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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