his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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