So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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