No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
