Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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