theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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