im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
