I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
