isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
