is your mom at the bar?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
