My boss' voice literally gives me gas
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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