and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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