Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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