Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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