Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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