would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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