Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Everything about him screamed your future.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
