So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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