Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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