He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
