Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
