I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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