did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
