The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
