So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
