What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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