Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The feeling are messing with the penis
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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