How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
