I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
