; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
