i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
