Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just cropdusted the office
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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