i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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