I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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