am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
