Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
