Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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