I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Randomize
