he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
